kremdelacreme | PSL for killedwithlove

The Chargers were back at Skyhold after a week-long mission that had taken them clear out to the Antivan border, a job separate from the Inquisition's dealings that The Iron Bull had taken for incredibly handsome pay, after making absolutely sure that it wouldn't have any impact on the Inquisition. But now they were home, looking no worse for wear, toting a wagon full of casks that they were telling anyone that would listen were full of whiskey.

But things were amiss. They were short a man, and nothing about the way they conducted themselves made it seem like something bad had happened. They were just suddenly one fewer than normal.

Another week, and still their Lieutenant hadn't come back. None of the Chargers said a damn thing when questioned on the whereabouts of one Cremisius Aclassi, even redirecting the conversation when someone would get insistent. There wasn't much point in poking around in any of their heads either, as none of them knew for sure where he'd gone or why. All they seemed to know was that he would be back sooner or later.

Another week, and the Inquisitor had decided to go to the Frostback Basin to learn what he could about Inquisitor Ameridan. This left Skyhold fairly empty, left the civilians to their own devices, nobody any the wiser save for the occasional reports that the Inquisitor sent back about what he was learning.

Krem's return to the fortress was without fanfare, literal or otherwise. He simply trudged across the bridge that led inside from the mountains, a sack slung over his back with his maul, which looked to have been cleaned, repaired and even upgraded, materials-wise. It was so early in the morning that it was still dark, giving him the chance to get to his quarters without interference, and as he passed through the tavern on his way there, he was entirely focused on finding his way to his bed. He ached all over, a bone-deep soreness that blotted out more specific hurts, and the moment his door was closed and locked behind him, he sank onto his bed with a deep groan, falling slowly onto his side and using one hand to start unbuckling his harness and armor, letting it all clatter on the floor without a single thought regarding the noise. He only sat back up to strip off his leathers, then rolled over to face the wall, blanket pulled over his head, almost instantly asleep.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Cole smiled at the kiss and let his hand drop again, watching Krem intently. He liked Krem being happy. It didn't really matter what Krem's body was like to Cole, he didn't have to live in it.

"Do you want a neck rub?" Cole had watched, he was pretty sure he knew how to do it and make it feel good.

IF it were anyone but Cole, a question like that out of the blue might have seemed weird.

"Uh, sure, if you like," Krem replied with a shrug and scooted back some on his bed to allow a space so that both of them could sit. Cole was ganglier than he was by a fair amount, but he also didn't really take up much space when he didn't want to.

Krem looked like he could do with a neck rub. Nothing more or less than that.

Cole came to sit behind Krem, folding himself up nice and small to fit comfortably for both of them and his hands coming to rest on Krem's neck at the juncture, letting him get used to that first.

At least Krem was starting to get used to skin contact again. It had been a damn long time since anyone had seen more than a second's worth of him without his full armor that there had occasionally been jokes as to whether he even owned other clothes besides his leathers and armor. At the moment though, all that really mattered was that he had this quiet moment with Cole to soak in the warmth of the touch and what was still soaked into the stones of his quarters.

Cole let their skin warm before starting to rub, massaging carefully with his thumbs.

And after a moment, Cole closed his eyes and let his other senses guide him. Knots that needed pressure, areas that were a little sore and needed a careful touch. Guiding himself carefully to make Krem feel better.

When Cole had to press in hard to loosen and relax a knot, Krem groaned and leaned forward, eventually ending up with his head resting against his knees. He let his arms rest limp on either side of him, keeping his shoulders loose and rolling them some when Cole moved on to other parts of his back.

"Remind me later and I can do this for you," he murmured after most of his back had been tended to. The only part of it that he was actually good at was hands, but he could still offer that much, and with as much as Cole used his hands or messed with his fingers, he imagined the other could use it.

Cole had endless patience for something like this, starting up at the neck, right in under the base of the skull and then slowly making his way down. Krem's back was a mass of tension and knots, which was only to be expected when you were a mercenary with a maul who had had major surgery on your chest recently.

"If you want to. I don't think I carry stress in my body like mortals." But he wouldn't mind if they did this.

Cole's fingers were talented, nicely rough when they needed to be, and sublimely gentle everywhere else. Krem closed his eyes, wrapping his arms loosely around his legs.

"Even if you're not stressed half to death it's still nice sometimes. Good for bonding, stuff like that." Good for lots of things that he was very pointedly not letting himself think about at this juncture.

Cole hummed softly, agreeing. Agreeing with what, he wasn't sure, but he was agreeing. He pushed his hands up along Krem's spine, not massaging, just rubbing and adding warmth to his skin.

"I've never touched someone like this before."

Krem leaned back when Cole's hands came back up to his shoulders, slowly letting himself fall back and nearly lean against Cole, though his core tensed to keep most of his weight off the other.

"You are very good with your hands for someone that's never done it, then."

"Your body tells me where it likes and how it likes." Which possibly sounded creepier than he meant to, but he wasn't aware of that. He just listened to the way Krem's aches spoke to him.

"It's a hurt, so I can hear it."

"Coming from anyone else, that would sound really weird," Krem pointed out, turning over a little to settle sideways to be able to look back at Cole. "Hell, it still sounds kind of weird coming from you. But I'll take your word for it. You're the one able to listen for this stuff in the first place.

"What does it sound like though? Is it different for different people? Like one person's sadness being different from someone else's."

"It... sounds not like sounds. It sounds like colours and scents." He couldn't explain it, even though he wanted to. It was senses that mortals' forms didn't understand.

"Every person's hurts are unique. Every hurt for every person is unique. It's... a network. A web. You worry about your family, so I can hear them, taste their worries." He ran a hand down Krem's side, watching his skin.

Krem's arms humped up in gooseflesh when Cole's hand ran down his side. He was absolutely unused to being touched, gently or otherwise, and he had to keep himself from moving away from it. It was a good touch from a caring and careful hand, and logically he knew that.

"Everyone processes and feels things differently, so it makes sense things'd sound or feel different for you," he said thoughtfully. Some people needed to hit things or be hit to help process pains, while others needed to talk, while some needed to be alone. He personally never really dealt with things so much as he lifted himself over them or crushed them down when they were too big to handle by himself. He'd gotten good at that over the years.

And then Cole had happened, with his lack of filter between the things he felt and what came out of his mouth. He didn't like his thoughts and feelings laid bare, that made them so much harder to ignore. But this was still good. He liked Cole, liked having him within arm's reach. As frustrating as he could sometimes be, Krem wouldn't shoo him away or tell him to stop talking.

"Tasting the sound of colors sounds like something that happens after you drink the cactus juice from the Hissing Wastes..."

Every mortal was unique. So were all spirits, but in different ways. Harder to explain ways. But it meant everything that every mortal experienced was unique, so it sounded unique and felt unique and he could pick each one apart, untangle the strings to see how the knot was made.

He was learning between inside and outside. That they weren't the same. He knew they weren't, but he still struggled with it when there was a lot of things being felt and heard, he had to try and sort it out and that was easier done both in and out.

"I can hear Darkspawn. There's music, a song, I don't like it, but I can hear it. When I was in the Hissing Wastes the first time, they came out at night and I could hear them."

He would get better at it over time, Krem was sure of that. It took humans a long time to figure it out, themselves.

"Wouldn't imagine Darkspawn musics would sound like anything but ugly noise. Screaming pain. Maybe how heat would sound, if it were a sound, like the noises the Rage demons make."

"No."

His hands came to rest in his lap, closing his eyes.

"It calls. It beckons to something deep, deep inside. It hurts, like a burn of need and urgency, craving, calling, carving into me. It comes from so far away, but rings clear as pain across the air. It echoes through every one of them, dragging them, desperate... It touches into my heart and tries to pull me in, drags me back into this world."

The memory was still hard and clear, taking him back to that moment. He was sitting there, but his face was empty of him.

"...sounds like desire demons," Krem muttered, falling quiet after that. He was out of his depth here, and every time he opened his mouth to say something, he started to feel incredibly ignorant. He was better at silence when it came to Cole. Listening was easier, didn't make him feel like a child poking his fingers where he didn't belong.

Cole opened his eyes suddenly, like he had forgotten Krem was even there. "I do not know. Desire has never turned its attention to me. It felt dark and terrifying, but it wanted."

He hugged himself, head bowing low.

"It was cold."

Krem made a face and, rather than replying, he turned in place completely and scooted to come up to Cole's side, slipping an arm across his chest and around his shoulders.

"With luck, you won't have to feel it again."

Cole leaned into Krem, letting his warmth soak into him and bring him back from the memories.

"Not like that. Not alone. I can fight now."

"You can fight, and more importantly, you can win. You are very strong," Krem murmured, his hand rubbing across Cole's back as he sat back up a little straighter. "You're not alone here. Nor will you have to be, if you stay with me."

"You want me to stay in here with you?" Cole looked at Krem, head tilting and big eyes blinking. "Even though I don't sleep?"

Krem was getting used to Cole taking things literally by now, and was ready for the questions.

"I meant it more in a general sense, but that too, if you feel like it."